As a Med Student

A Med Student’s Apology

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Being a med student is both a mental and emotional upheaval. It is a long, painful process that hopes to create an end-product that can withstand any harsh environment it is thrown into.

To describe it as “hard” might just be the greatest understatement of all.

And for that, we, medical students, apologize to you.

We apologize for the random angry outbursts and the constant irate and disinterested mood. We only had a total of 4 hours of sleep in the last three days combined and work just keeps on coming in like an avalanche bound to trample and suffocate us.

We apologize for the seen-zoned messages, unreturned calls and ignored invitations. It’s just that we had a very long and tiring week and we wanted to spend what’s left of our measly weekend off catching up on sleep and personal care, all without having to sound like a broken record for using the same excuse for being absent in every get-together you had carefully planned out.

We apologize if we sometimes spout nothing but negativities that may dampen your mood. We were just very hurt and demoralized by the two consecutive exams we failed despite studying hard for them, and we had no other way to let our frustrations out other than by complaining (which is, of course, not the healthiest way to deal with problems, but at the moment, we’re just too. Tired. To. Care.).

We apologize if sometimes we seem not to be mentally present when around you. Most of the time, it’s just because we were thinking of the lecture we had that day in an effort to retain as much information as we could to avoid cramming for our upcoming examinations.

We apologize for seemingly ‘not trying hard enough’ in our relationships. Gone were the days when we can never be too busy to spend quality time with our loved ones. We try, really, we do, but Medicine is one insanely jealous lover. It is equally painful for us to helplessly watch as our relationships crumble right in front of us. Thriving in medical school comes with a lot of sacrifices, and, sometimes, unfortunately, we cannot help but give up even some parts of our personal life for the sake of pursuing this profession.

We apologize in advance for all the birthdays, weddings and other important milestones that we will miss while we are in medical school. Time is not on our side, and believe me, it is painful to be updated with our friends and loved ones only through social media. As we look at photos of your latest travels, engagement, wedding and kids, we couldn’t help but wonder too what we have really signed up for.

We apologize if we don’t always have all the answers when you ask us medical-related questions. This is because we have yet to really master any subject in Medicine, let alone actually gain some self-confidence in assessing, diagnosing and sharing information. But hey, when we really do get a concept, we would waste no time at all in sharing it over dinner to sound like this path we chose is getting us somewhere promising.

We apologize if all we could talk about is our studies, because frankly, there’s nothing much we do aside from school that merits as an interesting topic in conversations. We always insist you to talk because we don’t want to sound too boring or alien if we get started on the pathogenesis of cancer and consequently make you paranoid about eating that burger we just ordered.

We apologize to our parents when we don’t get the grades expected from us. We don’t like to make excuses but the reality is, we are trying, and while it may not look much, every ’75’ we get is a product of blood, sweat, tears and prayers. We know you love us no matter what, but we can’t help but be apologetic for the times we feel like we have failed you.

However, amidst all these apologies, we also ask you to keep trusting and believing in us, because we are working our way towards achieving our dreams, and when we get there, the victory will be ten times sweeter with you, our loved ones, with us. We would like to ask for your forgiveness and understanding, because you are our inspiration, and without you, we would have long given up this journey. This med student is still your friend/lover/child, and while most of the time we may appear to be consumed in our own little world, deep down we are still the same person you’ve come to know and love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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20 thoughts on “A Med Student’s Apology

  1. As a parent of a graduating medical student, I do understand..absence in family gatherings, no-show in important family occasions, cannot be with us when we go on family trips. Add to that the times when she could come with us(h00ray! alleluia!), all she would do was sleep. That is why I told her last Mothers’ day how thankful I was when she found time to be with me, and bought flowers and chocolates. All of our children, and they are 5, on day 1 of their schooling, they had our all-out support, be it financial(especially), morale-boosting, guidance in lessons, hiring of tutors, and food, food food-kahit ipangutang ko, dahil teacher-londoner(loan dito, loan doon) din ako. I thank God for children like you, who are so serious and hell-bent on carving their chosen career paths. Now that my daughter is graduating this July, I realize that all she has given us , her parents, was joy and happiness, and parental pride for all her achievements, ditto with the rest of our children.

    God bless you, Joey, and you are included now in my personal prayers. Congratulations too , to your parents for having raised you well.

    Mrs. Villa

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am so happy that you took the time to drop a comment on my post, Mrs. Villa! Thank you so much po! My mom is also the same, ever so supportive of me even if there are times when we could barely talk because I’m too busy with school. Honestly, I wouldn’t know where I would be now if it wasn’t for her. I’m pretty sure your daughter looks at you the same way! Congratulations to your daughter, and to you as well for helping her make it through med school alive, and I wish more blessings to come your way. I hope I can make my mom proud too two years from now. 🙂 You moms are the best!

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  2. My boyfriend is in med school and he’s cancelled on me twice on a date he planned out. And today he said he can’t fail again, so he cancelled. Several months ago, I probably would’ve been disappointed. But I understand him now because he’s letting down not only his parents but also himself everytime he fails. I just wished he didn’t stress over not being able to comply with our planned dates. He’s already stressed with exams and I want him to focus. I believe that he will get through the remaining years and I only wish for him to never quit. And that is my wish for you too. If ever you’re in a relationship, don’t ever feel bad about not being able to give them time. They will understand why you’re not always there, physically or mentally (even though you’re both in one room). Whenever he complains to me, I just ask him if I can do anything to help him. Sometimes he wants to be left alone and sometimes he asks me to make a schedule for reviewing or even a reviewer. If they really love you and believe in you, they will always understand and make way to help you out no matter how little the work is (food always helps, haha). Thank you for putting my boyfriend’s thoughts into words (wala na time mag-explain yun, finals na e hahaha). Bawi na lang kayo in some other ways, hehe. I hope you sail smoothly in your journey. God bless you and apology accepted. 🙂

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    1. Your boyfriend is very lucky to have such an understanding girlfriend. Many of my batchmates’ relationships from before med school had ended because of issues ranging from distance to simply making time for each other. It’s supportive people like you who we need most in our lives right now. More power to you guys! And thank you for reading!

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  3. Its a training ground. Think of med school as a training facility gearing you up for more and bigger battles ahead. sounds clichè but its true. Residency will demand a lot more from you. So toughen up and continue moving forward. Goodluck!

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  4. Ain’t a med student but as a very busy person with so many responsibilities at the moment, I can somehow relate…. And I think every busy earthly creature working up on their dreams and responsibilities can relate… Every word is indeed true. Hoho God bless you on your path! May people around us be more understanding 🙂

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    1. Indeed! I have so much respect for people who are willing to put through a lot for the sake of achieving their dreams. God bless you as well, and best of luck in your endeavors! ☺️

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  5. Your dream to become a “doctor” will not suffice it all to earn that degree. Perseverance, sacrifices, enduring pain and frustrations, these will.
    That is what I realized (and hey, I am still on my 4th week of medschool)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Eventually, soon, you will achieve your goal and when you look back you (and your parents) will be so proud. สู้สู้ I seem like I keep watching and will be very cheerful for your success too. Write, continue share your experiences, if you like. I will be back and read them again. “May the forces be with you” haha ^-^, I copy this from the movie Starwars from those Jedi.

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